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Monday, May 05th

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Alex Baer: Bizarro Phases & Places

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Bizarro universeIt's been a long weekend of eyebrow-lifting reports, likely the perceptual hangovers from the holiday, combined with the come-and-go effects of our ongoing intersection with the Bizarro Universe.

Steely-eyed readers with exceptional powers of recall will remember these odd and unpredictable effects on life in this universe first began because of -- or resulted in -- Willard Romney's selection of Paul Ryan to be his Veep-runner in this marathon presidential race.

Head of Monitoring at the Truly Vast Array of Radio Dishes, Optical Telescopes, and the Koole-Lukking Instrumentation Cluster at Imposing Institute, Dr. Oliver Sudden, said, "We've been keeping an eye on Bizarro outbreaks over the weekend, and there's been a rise in dumbfounding events -- although there's nothing quite like Americans having a long holiday during a full moon, either, to kick things up a notch."

Dr. Sudden added, "Readings suggest we have entered a new phase of increased oscillations -- think of it as a series of much more rapid flip-flopping back and forth than usual between our two universes."

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