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You are here Editorials Bob Alexander Laff Riot

Laff Riot

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Both Conventions are over … the presidential candidates are set in stone … and as Stephen King wrote, “The moon is down and the hour is none.

Bernie Sanders received more votes and more pledged delegates than Hillary Clinton did in the primaries. But the Zombie Queen emerged victorious from the shitshow the DNC staged in Philadelphia. How?

Hillary Clinton stole the Democratic nomination from Bernie Sanders.

The End.

On July 28th, 2016, Election Justice USA released a 99 page report titled Democracy Lost detailing the irregularities in the Democratic primary elections. The report stated that Bernie Sanders lost an “upper estimate of 184 pledged delegates as a result of specific irregularities and instances of fraud. Adding these delegates to Senator Sanders’ pledged delegate total and subtracting the same number from Hillary Clinton’s total would more than erase the 359 pledged delegate gap between the two candidates.

Last June, Giovanni and Marcello Pietrobon published “Just Doing the Math, Electoral Fraud In The 2016 Democratic Primaries,” showing discrepancies in 11 of the 26 primaries. The probability of this happening without fraud is 1 in 77 billion.

Hillary Clinton stole the Democratic nomination from Bernie Sanders.

The End.

But let me be more precise here … Hillary didn't forge the signatures in New York changing voters' affiliation from Democrat to Republican so they couldn't vote in the Democratic primary. She didn't rig voting machines in Illinois to flip a Sanders vote to a Clinton vote. Nor did she hack into the voting machines in Alabama, weighting the fractional votes towards her instead of Sanders. She didn't cut the number of polling places in Arizona from 200 to only 60. And she didn't suppress the voting process in Brooklyn where at least 125,000 New York voters were either illegally purged from the rolls, had their votes lost or thrown away, or were not permitted to vote due to broken voting machines. She didn't do any of that. Her fingerprints aren't on any of the forged registration forms or the hackers' keyboards. But I think it's a safe bet to say somebody at the DNC knows exactly who was in charge of ratfucking the Sanders campaign. Still, the end result is …

Hillary Clinton stole the Democratic nomination from Bernie Sanders.

The End.

I know all this stuff not because the moon told me … but because I have a computer and a decent Internet connection … just like Main Stream Media journalists. But they decided en masse not to tell anyone about any of it. They aren't supposed to expose the Big Con of American politics. They aren't going to tell you that my vote – your vote, everybody's vote – is meaningless. This is the year we should finally realize that The Game Is Over and We Lost. Voting … the core of our democratic existence … is a completely worthless endeavor. If we think we can change anything by voting … we're delusional.

What is even more crazy-making are the articles and videos I've seen over the past couple of weeks. What Do We Do Now That the DNC Rigged & Stole the Primary is an editorial written by Rob Kall and published at OpEdNews on July 31st. In it he explains his rationale why we should vote for a third party candidate in November. I've also read at least a dozen articles describing in great detail why we should vote for The Green Party's presidential candidate Jill Stein. Even though the primary elections were rigged … we are still exhorted to continue to do The One Thing that we know … doesn't work anymore:


There are arguments that voting for a third party candidate is throwing your vote away. I maintain, based upon recent elections, that voting for anybody is throwing your vote away. We can vote for whoever we want but The Elite pick who they want … and the media cobbles together a load of horseshit graphs and pie charts that supposedly show us how we “voted.”

In light of the democratic primary results, I would like someone … anyone... to explain to me, in clear simple and direct language, How The Fuck can we expect to change anything if we cannot have our votes counted? I know I'm not high on anything … so what is everybody else smoking? Why is The Biggest Story in American Politics NOT covered?

Hillary Clinton stole the Democratic nomination from Bernie Sanders.

The End.

The media are herding us down the chute mesmerizing us with, “Move along here folks … nothing to see here … Move On to the next story” And what's pissing me off is watching “liberal” media watchdogs like The Young Turks hustling us away from The Big Story (aka Hillary Stole the Nomination) to the second stage: We Must Vote Against The Crazy Person. And the arguments are mind-bending. I just finished watching The Young Turks' Hillary's Case On Foreign Policy: Warhawks Better Than Crazy Warhawks. Donald Trump, the war-mongering blowhard, is nuts. Hillary Clinton, a politician who never met a war she didn't like, is a more knowledgeable war-mongering blowhard. The choice is simple. Vote (there's that word again) for the more experienced but not-as-crazy-as-Trump warhawk.

Travel back in time with me to 1964.

Barry Goldwater was the Republican candidate for president. In May of that year he gave an interview in which he discussed the use of low-yield atomic bombs in North Vietnam to defoliate forests and destroy bridges, roads, and railroad lines bringing supplies from communist China. Goldwater was buried in the landslide election by the incumbent president, Lyndon Johnson, who won 61 percent of the vote. Americans in 1964 overwhelmingly rejected the man who casually discussed using nuclear weapons in Vietnam.

The “sane” more “knowledgeable” choice, Lyndon Johnson, escalated the war in Vietnam which ultimately killed 3.4 million Vietnamese, Cambodian, and Laotian people. Who was the greater monster – Goldwater or Johnson? What gore-slicked yardstick do we use to measure their madness?

Back to the present … almost.

George W. Bush was an illegitimate president. In the 2000 election, rigged voting machines, voter suppression, and ultimately The Supreme Court, nullified our votes and forced his presidency on America. In 2004 the Republicans stole the presidential election again but this time were skillful enough not to need an intervention by the Supreme Court. The bastard president got another four years, so we lived under an illegitimate president for eight goddamned years. Fun, wasn't it?

And now we're all the way back to the present. Here we are counting down the days to the election. We didn't choose Hillary Clinton to run against Donald Trump. She cheated her way onto the ticket. She is, for the first time in my memory, an illegitimate candidate for president. We've just had a socio-political earthquake that destroyed the party of FDR, and the Ministry of Truth is trying to make us think that nothing extraordinary happened. War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength, Chocolate rations are up, and Hillary Clinton is the Democratic candidate for president.

I get it. Trump is a full blown fascist who could flip out his gold sharpie and sign enough Executive Orders, legally binding orders, that could transform The United States into a hell-hole for anyone not of the proper caste. Rich White Men would do extremely well, their middle manager minions wouldn't be so bad off, but for everybody else, especially for those with darker skins or a different religion, it would be Open Season. Women across the board will find the gains they've made over the last 50 years wiped out with a stroke of a pen. The rights of LGBTQ folk would be dependent upon the whim of a lunatic. I get it. Trump … Bad.

On the other hand Hillary Clinton is perfectly capable of continuing to act as she always has for decades. Regardless of the photo ops with Senator Elizabeth Warren, Clinton has bagged 48 million from hedge-fund managers for her campaign. As Secretary of State Clinton played a leading role in drafting the Trans-Pacific Partnership … but now she says she's against it. She was pushing for NAFTA as First Lady … but now she says she's against it. And of course she voted for the Iraq War … but later she said she was against it. She supports godawful things until they're in place and then reverses her positions if it's politically expedient to do so. She was gung ho for the worst war crime imaginable. She voted for it. She only changed her mind when her political weather vane told her to.

Above all else she projects her version of how A Strong Woman looks and acts. In her mind A Strong Woman uses the military to get the job done. I don't know about you but listening to General John Allen speak on her behalf at the convention scared the shit out of me. If Hillary Clinton's foreign policy will be more hawk-like than Barack Obama's (and there is no indication it wouldn't be) … then war with Russia looms nightmarishly on our horizon. Last June Dmitri Orlov, Russian-American engineer and a writer, co-authored A Russian Warning stating, “The US leadership has done everything it could to push the situation to the brink of disaster.”

Ultimately she's a fascist tool of The Elite ready to carry out the Corporatocracy's agenda and will use the military to enforce it when the psychopathic Corporatocracy deems it necessary.

The tragic black comedy in all this is Donald Trump came by his nomination … um … honestly. The exit polls from the Republican primaries (unlike critical Democratic primaries) matched the vote outcomes. Republicans actually wanted a Mussolini-esque, tiny fingered, Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing, shitgibbon to rule over all.

Either way the day after the elections in November we will have a fascist as president-elect of The United States. But it didn't have to be this way. Bernie Sanders would have crushed Trump in the election. The United States would not have slid further into fascism. I can't forget, I hope no one will forget …

Hillary Clinton stole the Democratic nomination from Bernie Sanders.

The End.

For the next three months we get to watch a completely corrupt “outsider” … and a completely corrupt “insider” … claw at each others faces and throats until election day. There will be blood. That's why it's on television. There's always blood in the news.

If The Elite don't want Donald Trump to be president … he won't be. The hacked voting machines are in place, the voter lists have been purged, and according to the polls Clinton leads Trump 46.5 to 42.0. That's close enough. Close races are more easily hacked. If there's too big of a margin it becomes too apparent that there's hackery afoot. On the other hand if The Elite don't want Hillary Clinton to be president … she won't be. It's all set up for that outcome as well. This version of neo-democracy doesn't have anything to do with us. On November 8th we will vote … and after the pretend votes are tallied … The Elite will finally show us who they had previously picked for us.

Oh Happy Day.

On a Personal Note … I'm not going to use words like “we” or “us” anymore. It's not that I don't care about the death of democracy in The United States … it just has less and less to do with me. Five years ago we left the U.S. and moved to Canada. We were able to initially live here because of a student visa, and then work and visitor permits. Permits can be extended but we wanted to make sure that whatever might happen bureaucratically, we would be able to continue to live here. On January 15, 2015, we started the application process to become Permanent Residents of Canada and as of last Tuesday, July 26th, we made it.

So I can't write about the political scene with a sense of personal immediacy. The nervous breakdown of The United States makes me sick to my stomach … but I don't live there anymore. I'll probably continue to write about it, but I won't use words like “we” or “us”. I'll say things like, “You guys are really screwed.” Or, “How much blood pressure medication and anti-depressants do you need to choke down in order to deal with Current Events?” I have the feeling that's the kind of um … tone … that will make most people hate what I write. I know it would piss me off.

But … I feel the pain. Kind of. As much as I can anyway. But because I live up here … it's an imaginary pain. Though I can't imagine how motherfucking awful it really is because when I try to imagine it my mind rebels, shuts down, and spits out one sentence, “If we still lived down there … we'd move.”

The End.

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