TV News LIES

You have to hand it to Willard Romney:  Whenever he needs to make a clutch play, and reach right in and pull a rabbit out of his hat, he always reaches right in and confidently pulls out roadkill instead.

That big-eyed deer staring into the headlights at Willard's side, about to be figuratively mounted on history's grillwork, is Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin).  He's the one who the fun-loving people on the Romney tour bus have dangled onto the roadway, in the lane of oncoming traffic, as new veep road sport.

Mitt Romney stood in front of the battleship USS Wisconsin to announce his VP choice. It really was fitting that he stood in front of a ship that was obsolete and useless when it was built, just like the Ryan budget.

Also fitting was that he stood in front of a ship that Ronald Reagan dragged out of mothballs and fooled away billions of dollars on. Reagan did this in order to mask the collapsing economy he was creating with his trickle down voodoo economics.

Reagan added 400 ships to the Navy built around the four Iowa class floating money drains to "confront the Soviets". He did this because the Evil Empire had secret nuclear submarines, according to Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld. The CIA said no they didn't, but that only meant the Russians were keeping them secret.

Well, how about that:  An always-blindfolded Willard Romney has finally chucked a dart at the photos staff had taped up on the wall, picking a running mate:  Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin.

OK -- so, checking the scorecard:  That makes a presumptive presidential candidate who's had everything he's ever wanted from the moment of birth... to a veep wannabe who has a burning need to take everything else left away from absolutely everyone else.  Perfect!

As press conferences go, it was an un-shocking, non-breakthrough announcement from the Regional Integrated Group-Householded Television Network Association of Associations and Amalgamated Organizations, Unlimited, sporting specific advice for television viewers this political season:  "Hit the 'off' button and turn on your mind!"

Spokesperson Stan Bie said, "You know, television viewers who are tired of being spin-dizzied into psychosis, and weary of being carpet-bombed into oblivion by political ads this election season would do well to just turn the damn thing off."

Clint Eastwood has endorsed million dollar baby, Willard Romney, for President.  Of the United States, that is, to be clear.  The Mardis Gras parade, directed by Fellini in a Dali-esque style, marches on, magnum force.

Is there an angle here, Clint?  Some Hollywood hijinks, macho box-office stunt, or some other mighty-mojo attempt from your various acting-directing-producing and many other auspices?

I won’t vote for Barack Obama. I can’t vote for Barack Obama. And it’s not because he’s not liberal enough for me. I gave up on the idea of a progressive president before I was old enough to vote. No … the reason I won’t vote for Obama is because he’s just slightly less murderous than George W. Bush. And a man with bloody hands doesn’t have our best interests at heart.

So who will I vote for?  Who cares?